My Dad

I knew shortly after waking up this morning that I was going to be emotional today. Hey, it happens.

This song challenge thing is starting to irritate me, but it has clearly done it's job by providing me things to write about. Today is ' a song that reminds you of a certain event' day. Well, my mind immediately jumped to my father, as it tends to do on days when  I'm feeling a bit fragile.

My father hung the moon to me, and he loved me as his only child more fiercely in the nineteen years I had him than I could have ever hoped of receiving from anyone  in a lifetime. So I suppose I'm incredibly lucky in that respect. He often worked nights, so my childhood days were filled with him there, our summers vivid in my mind… the two of us together. We would drive around in his VW Camper and sing Elvis Presley at the top of our lungs, with all the gusto and emotion we could muster (and that was a lot, he was Italian, after all). This was one of our favorites, especially since we could duo… he would belt out the song with me as backup and then I would take over with such dramatic dialogue that you'd think we were performing at Carnegie Hall. But we were just driving in our own little world, and as an introverted and lonely little girl,  it was my favorite place to be.  A safe, secure and truly happy bubble.

 I miss him so much. They lie when then say it gets easier. It doesn't. It gets harder. Maturity gives a new perspective on all that didn't happen and all that could have been down the road. He endured some of my most awful days, loved me through all of it even when I was so difficult to even like and never got to see that everything turned out ok in the end.

London circa 1998

Song challenge of the day: A song that reminds you of somewhere.

I was in London working for Vidal Sassoon in 1998, and it just so happened to coincide with this album dropping. It was EVERYWHERE. I arrived in England with two suitcases and a tube map, found my way to Chiswick, where I was renting a room from a wonderful woman called Toni and began my adventure, with this damn song playing in the background constantly.

From the Davies Mews to the S. Molton St. Salons, this tune was inescapable. Not to mention I was hitting every gay bar in the city with my co-workers, and I don't care what country you're in, raging club queens love Madonna. (Did I mention Toni and her girlfriend also had a Madonna obsession? Yeah, I heard it at home, too.) Anyhow, of all the weekends at Slimelight dancing my heart out to music that was far more my taste, that music doesn't register in my memory, this one stands as the soundtrack to my months there.

I fell in love with England that year, I fell in love with my career even more than before, I made amazing friends, had lots of laughs and learned more about myself in that time period than I had thought imaginable. Had I been able to stay there forever, I would have. It stands as one of the best eras of my life, so when I hear this,  I just can't help but smile.

I love new/old stuff

Went to the Scott Antique Market yesterday.  Found a few nice things, two of which came home with me.  The other I had to sadly leave behind, due to not being quite sure how to haul home an early 1900's cast iron working safe that a grown man couldn't even pick one corner of up.    Oh well, there is always next month.   Here is what I did get.

A pretty new piece for my foyer.  It's not hung yet, but will be soon.

The second is a 'warlock' cast iron antique bottle opener.  It's pretty heavy and it caught my eye out of the ones that were there.  Hoping that the others in contention will be available next month, as it would be nice to have more than one to display.

Hmm, this reminds me of someone.

It's Sunday morning and I've got a full day. May as well go ahead and get the song challenge of the day out of the way. Today calls for posting a song that reminds me of someone. Here's a really good one, describes more than a few women I know perfectly. I could name names, but that would just be rude.

Instead I'll just say that her name is actually not Caroline. It's Shanon.

Oops, did I just say that? I'm kidding. Not about her name being Shanon, but about it exclusively being dedicated to her. She's just one of them. So to all you bitches out there, this one is for you.

Day 4: Sadness

Day 4 of the music challenge requires posting a song that makes you sad. Again, easy enough.  I have enough sad music from a million different genres to have me wallowing in my corn flakes for weeks without having to come up for air.   Well, this one rips me into a million little pieces. I could have put it under 'best cover', since I think Amy Ray blows the original Dire Straits version away, but I knew this 'sad' day was coming and it was far more appropriate being placed here.

Great, now I'm totally depressed.   

Ewww, politics.

Political conversation makes me break out into hives.  It's oftentimes uncomfortable, aggressive and irrational.   Most of all,  it's one guy trying to convince another that his yahoo is somehow better than the other guy's.  Crooks and liars, all of them… that's what I say, which is probably why I end up favoring the one that is least offensive to me in some ways.  That's why I don't go there.  It's sort of like debating religion with people, no good is going to come of it and someone's going to walk away with their panties in a twist.

None of this means that I don't have opinions.  And I'm tired of folks coming to me and assuming that I would naturally hold the same views as them because we 'are so much alike'.    So here is my little opinion post.   Look it over, see what I think, and then kindly still refrain from involving me in your political debate, even if we see eye to eye on something.

1.  I am pro gun, pro death penalty and pro choice.
2.  We give too many damn handouts in this country.  Welfare should exist on a limited time frame and all generational welfare recipients should be left in the street to find a damn job and be put on mandatory birth control….. or better yet, sterilization.   Having children isn't a right, it's a privilege.  Can't properly take care of your kids, but yet you stay knocked up?  Someone should snatch them right out of your grubby hands.
3.  Religion is too infiltrated in politics.  I couldn't care less about your 'moral code'.
4.  People have the right to sleep with whoever they want.  I have no tolerance for lifestyle intolerance.
5.  The government should just stay the hell out of an individual's private life.  I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own home,  so long as you're not hurting anyone else.   You shouldn't care either, mind your own business.
6.  Yeah, yeah, the USA  is great, a powerhouse (and yes, I'm damn glad and proud to live in this country).  It's just a shame that as a whole, we're lacking widespread superior health care and education.   Blast me if you want, but so many other countries do it better and live happier, healthier and smarter lives.   One day it's going to make a difference to the detriment of our children's and grandchildren's lives.
7.  My family came to the US legally, I have little tolerance for those who don't.  My father got his citizenship by becoming a Force Recon Marine and spending a loooong time in Vietnam. THAT'S  how badly he wanted to be in this country, so go whine to someone else about this.         Oh, and they learned to speak the language.   Quickly.  

That, my friends, is the fastest and easiest way for me to get across my views, all stated in ways that even a teen could understand.    Now I'm off to go antique shopping and will post my song thing later today.
Happy Saturday, everyone!

p.s.   I HATE Sarah Palin in every way imaginable, more than you know.  Thinking she's worthy of note is not only ridiculous, in my book, it's a character flaw.   Just had to get that one in there.  ;)  

Day 3: Happiness

Today I'm supposed to post a song that makes me happy. Easy enough. I can think of lots of songs I like, then I can sit there and come up with a million and one deep reasons that these songs resonate with me. Well, today I'm not going to do that.  After all, there's enough deep shit going on in the world today without my having to wax poetic over anything meaningless.    I'm just playing a song that I'm happy driving to on a sunny day. Windows down, alone, taking in the sights of my city. My head nods in time to the music and I feel great.

p.s. I grew up in the one of the largest hip hop capitals of the world. YES, I listen to some of it. YES, I like it… as a matter of fact, I will listen to nothing else while working out.

Day 2: Favorite Cover Song

The original 30 Day challenge asks you to post your least favorite song. Why in the world would I care to peruse videos of hated songs? I'll pass, thanks. I've got enough eye rolling crap to listen to on a daily basis without voluntarily searching for more to expose y'all to. Thankfully, I found an alternative challenge list that appealed to me more and will be using that instead.

I initially had three contenders for today's choice and thought it would be relatively easy to choose one. Sonic Youth and The Ramones especially do covers that I am wild about. However, I decided to go with Johnny Cash's cover of 'Hurt' by Nine Inch Nails. It's a brilliant song in the first place, one I overplayed for longer than I should have when it first came out. I didn't think anyone could do justice to the song by covering it. I was so wrong.

Johnny Cash has always been a favorite of mine. My nine year old struts through the house crooning 'Ring of Fire' and 'Folsom Prison Blues' on a weekly basis. This album, however, exposed a startling and touching sense of an artist reflecting on his life in his last days. He took on Trent Reznor and Nick Cave songs with ease and comfort, he sang the words with such poignant ownership that his versions surpassed the originals in how they drew emotion from me. Now I have a hard time personalizing this song, because his voice and feelings overpower my own …. part of me senses that I'm peeking in on a personal moment that I ought not be privy to. But he gifted it to his fans, and died shortly after.

Thanks, Mr. Cash.  We'll always play your music and love you.  

30 Day Song Challenge

A friend of mine started doing this song challenge on Facebook, and I thought it would be a great springboard for me to find things to write about and to get me used to posting something more often than once a week. Day 1 consists of posting your favorite song. Seriously, who has ONE favorite song? I have a list the length of my entire body that could be contenders. Alas, David Bowie had to win out, even if it's for the sheer lack of being able to make a definite decision.

This song takes me back (and we know what a sucker I am for  that). I loved that era of my life, those cohorts, this song and most of all….. Bowie as an artist himself. Good times.  The personal connection to the song itself is different, but just as strong.  

p.s. I have extremely schizophrenic taste in music. You're in for 29 more days of it. Consider yourself warned. On the flip side, I've always said that people's musical taste explains a lot more than what they might be willing to tell you.

Oh, to be nine again.

I will never be in danger of being a hoarder.  Ever.  I throw things away pretty easily, and some keepsakes have admittedly become victim of my need to simplify and let go of 'stuff'.  Some of my friends collect photographs.  Me, not so much.  Obviously I do have pictures, but many old ones are in a shoebox just waiting for me to decide to become a full on suburbanite and join a scrapbooking club. (Before anyone holds their breath,  let me just say that it will never happen.  Other than sewing, I have a strong aversion to 'crafts'.  They make me break out into hives.)   I have manila envelopes where I've kept special artwork and papers filed away for each of my kids, but my refrigerator will NEVER be riddled with all the latest art and graded papers.  Why?  It clutters, and clutter stresses me out.   True confession time, I'm one of those parents that keeps your run of the mill mediocre drawing on the fridge for a week and then throws it out when the kid is not looking.  Hell, you can't save EVERYTHING.  It's a slippery slope between keeping every scrap your child writes on and being a full fledged crazy woman with thirty cats and boxes stacked up to the ceiling.  At least in my mind, anyway.  ;)

So the kid came home this past week with a paper he had written.  Chances are, it may make it into the manila folder, but it may also bite the dust, depending on the level of my cleaning frenzy this week.   I get this from my mother, who has every memento from my childhood in one box, no school papers, artwork, just a couple of small things and some photos.   Since I often wish that I had some solid evidence of how my brain worked and what my perspective was as a young one (we've already covered how my memories are somewhat skewed in my last post), I decided to post the kid's paper about himself here.  There is no danger of it being lost, and I'll be glad I did it later.  Of course, some of the details are removed by me for privacy's sake, but without further ado,  an autobiography at age nine, typos and all…

I love wolves!  I actually love all animals.  I also like a lot of other things.  To find out those things, you have to read about my background, hobbies and future.


For one thing, I should tell you about my background.  I was born Dec ******.  I was born at ****** Hospital.  While I was being born, I met my older brother, Sidney.  Sidney was not nice!  I had a lot of fiends when I was born, we all pulled on each other.  


Of course, I should tell you what I do for a living.  I love watching the graceful birds flying.  I hold worms in my hand to get the birds to eat off of me.  I love to breakdance.  My recital is coming up soon. My favorite hobby is chess because it takes a lot of thinking.  I'm good because I have great stratagies.   I should especially tell you what I want to do when I grow up.  I would love to go to M.I.T.  I love to learn about technology.  I want to be a famous musician.  Ill either play the piano or guitar.  I'd like to be the President of the United States of America.  I want to make laws that everyone likes.


I'm a pretty interesting guy.  Everything about me is in a different category.  I have a good background, weird hobbies and dreams that might never happen.  I hope you enjoyed my expository story about myself!!!


Oh, to be nine again.

EDIT:  I am a genius for posting this, though I'm sure it holds little interest to anyone other than myself.  It took all of fifteen minutes of my being in the shower for my cat to rip his paper to shreds with her teeth.  She was basking in the destruction looking very satisfied with herself when I walked into the room.