Oh, to be nine again.

I will never be in danger of being a hoarder.  Ever.  I throw things away pretty easily, and some keepsakes have admittedly become victim of my need to simplify and let go of 'stuff'.  Some of my friends collect photographs.  Me, not so much.  Obviously I do have pictures, but many old ones are in a shoebox just waiting for me to decide to become a full on suburbanite and join a scrapbooking club. (Before anyone holds their breath,  let me just say that it will never happen.  Other than sewing, I have a strong aversion to 'crafts'.  They make me break out into hives.)   I have manila envelopes where I've kept special artwork and papers filed away for each of my kids, but my refrigerator will NEVER be riddled with all the latest art and graded papers.  Why?  It clutters, and clutter stresses me out.   True confession time, I'm one of those parents that keeps your run of the mill mediocre drawing on the fridge for a week and then throws it out when the kid is not looking.  Hell, you can't save EVERYTHING.  It's a slippery slope between keeping every scrap your child writes on and being a full fledged crazy woman with thirty cats and boxes stacked up to the ceiling.  At least in my mind, anyway.  ;)

So the kid came home this past week with a paper he had written.  Chances are, it may make it into the manila folder, but it may also bite the dust, depending on the level of my cleaning frenzy this week.   I get this from my mother, who has every memento from my childhood in one box, no school papers, artwork, just a couple of small things and some photos.   Since I often wish that I had some solid evidence of how my brain worked and what my perspective was as a young one (we've already covered how my memories are somewhat skewed in my last post), I decided to post the kid's paper about himself here.  There is no danger of it being lost, and I'll be glad I did it later.  Of course, some of the details are removed by me for privacy's sake, but without further ado,  an autobiography at age nine, typos and all…

I love wolves!  I actually love all animals.  I also like a lot of other things.  To find out those things, you have to read about my background, hobbies and future.


For one thing, I should tell you about my background.  I was born Dec ******.  I was born at ****** Hospital.  While I was being born, I met my older brother, Sidney.  Sidney was not nice!  I had a lot of fiends when I was born, we all pulled on each other.  


Of course, I should tell you what I do for a living.  I love watching the graceful birds flying.  I hold worms in my hand to get the birds to eat off of me.  I love to breakdance.  My recital is coming up soon. My favorite hobby is chess because it takes a lot of thinking.  I'm good because I have great stratagies.   I should especially tell you what I want to do when I grow up.  I would love to go to M.I.T.  I love to learn about technology.  I want to be a famous musician.  Ill either play the piano or guitar.  I'd like to be the President of the United States of America.  I want to make laws that everyone likes.


I'm a pretty interesting guy.  Everything about me is in a different category.  I have a good background, weird hobbies and dreams that might never happen.  I hope you enjoyed my expository story about myself!!!


Oh, to be nine again.

EDIT:  I am a genius for posting this, though I'm sure it holds little interest to anyone other than myself.  It took all of fifteen minutes of my being in the shower for my cat to rip his paper to shreds with her teeth.  She was basking in the destruction looking very satisfied with herself when I walked into the room.